“Some will love you, some will hate you. It's the yin and yang of life. In a way, it makes it a beautiful journey of discovering and loving who you are. Haters, well, the worst they can do is hate. So I'm consciously ‘living life like it's platinum.’ And when the haters come around, I'll be like Teflon."
—MJW
That’s a quote signed Mally Mal, who most knew as Malcolm-Jamal Warner—the beloved actor and director who was taken from us on July 20th. At 54, Malcolm-Jamal was still a young man with more to give.
I was on that hot mess platform, sneaking around looking for my British feeds and Love Island Edits. Why can’t I seem to quit that platform? Then news hit of the tragedy. For once, for a solid hour, my feed had nothing but quotes from Jamal’s peers—celebrating his life, championing his work and work ethic. Others expressed shock and sent love to his family.
It was an amazing, eerie thing to see this hot trash social feed be human. I think that’s Malcom-Jamal’s final miracle. People from all perspectives, from different political backgrounds, all ages—those who first saw Malcom-Jamal as Theo on their TVs growing up or caught him in streaming reruns—it was a love fest, a verbal and pictorial purge.
And before that moment is lost on us, I just want to take another second to think of his other gifts.
Did you know Malcolm-Jamal was also a poet?
In January 2024, a video of his TED Talk was posted to YouTube of him performing one of his poems:
“Vulnerability is My Superpower.”
The man we knew as Theo—the actor, the director who did everything from the New Edition video for Heart Break to TV episodes like Season 8 of the Cosby Show, Episode 147 “Vanessa’s Big Fun” (if YKYK)—yes that Malcom-Jamal gave a TED Talk that, in this superhero-seeking world, stands out:
Vulnerability is my superpower.
He stepped up on the stage and quoted:
“Vulnerability.
Can be a scary thing even when we're on the mend.
Black boys boast bravado, not to seem broken, and often so do Black men.
I see you. Looking for clues. Listening for cues.
Longing to know what I'm not telling you. As if I'm hiding in plain view.
My most intimate thoughts belong to me. Like a woman's body when she says no.
So I reserve the right to go as far as I like.
Because though I live in the public eye,
I don't subscribe to the dog and pony show.
For I have learned to discern who cannot accept all of me.”
—MJW
That was the quality I saw in Malcolm-Jamal’s acting. His presence defied toxic masculinity. It surged with quiet pride and gave us something raw—the boy next door, the smile that sits with ease.
For those of us who write romance, that is the magic we want on the page for our heroes—someone who’s fighting the fight on the outside, but when he is with the one he loves, we see respect and vulnerability.
Malcolm-Jamal was a musician, too. One with range.
On his last album, in his song “Selfless,” he writes:
“It's a piece about finding my voice, being comfortable in my own skin, and not being ruled by other people's opinion of me. It's a tricky place to be because, as an artist, what people think about you and your art is an important part of connecting to your audience and therefore, your success. However, living your life trying to please everyone else is not living.”
That is a difficult ballad—to think about the definitions of success. Especially as a writer, or any type of creator, you need someone to like your work. When you’re a Black creator, you need somebody to champion and sing your praises because doors often close, heat comes from nowhere, and everyone is looking for a scandal to make some part of their mind say it was deserved, it was right for some negative attribution.
It gets very difficult to walk in the light—to be light—when everyone seeks to dim it.
Malcolm-Jamal knew this tension.
His praises are being sung because he found his way.
On that TED stage, he concluded:
“Vulnerability is cool.
It is strength. It still allows you to be a man,
and vulnerability offers the greatest gift.
It allows you to open up to yourself and love yourself.
Because the most important thing, the most important thing,
is the simple belief that you are enough.
And as I stand here in the power of my own vulnerability,
I am telling you—you are enough.
Imagine. Just imagine what you could give to the world and what the world would see in you if you were no longer hiding in plain view.”
Poetry works out those demons—the things that torture the soul.
Dear readers, writers, creators—I need you to be poets.
I need you to work out everything in your soul so that when it is your time, people can remember that the life you lived was about your gifts, not your flaws.
That you spoke truth with joy and yes, vulnerability.
And that every time you stepped up on stage, people could see the bright light in you.
For you have light.
We just need to be brave enough to let it shine.
Thank you, Mally Mal, for your legacy of words and images.
My prayers and love go out to Malcolm-Jamal Warner’s family, friends, and fans.
Books to get us through these moments:
Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur
While not specifically grief‑focused, its emotional themes of loss and self‑love will resonate and help readers processing pain and survival.
Highly Suspicious and Unfairly Cute by Talia Hibbert – This is a young adult rivals forced together, slowly letting guards down, and discovering depth and compassion.
The Hookup Plan by Farrah Rochon – A playful, steamy enemies-to-lovers romance that evolves into something tender and emotionally grounded. Think Theo grown up following in his doctor dad’s shoes but messy.
The Love Lyric by Kristina Forest is a tender, slow-burn romance between a widowed single mother and an emotionally available R&B singer that beautifully explores grief, healing, and second chance love.
This week, I'm highlighting Turning Page Bookshop through their website and Bookshop.org
Help me build momentum for Fire Sword and Sea—spread the word and preorder this disruptive narrative about female pirates in the 1600s. This sweeping saga releases January 13, 2026. The link on my website shows retailers large and small who have set up preorders for this title.
Show notes include a list of the books mentioned in this broadcast.
You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, VanessaRiley.com under the podcast link in the About tab.
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Thank you for listening. Hopefully, you’ll come again. This is Vanessa Riley.
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